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Past is torment and I face it alone
written by KaoticKitty8709:16 PM 12/10/04Why are you always mad
you dont seem to care that Im sad
you always tell me to cheer up and smile
that I better change my attitude before you get riled
why do you keep me if you dont want me
why do you make my life so daunting
you are lucky that I love you
even withstood all the agony you put me through
maybe you do care about whats wrong
even though you have known all along
you chose to forget my awful past
I try so hard, away it is cast
my memories will never let me be
always coming back to haunt me
why cant I forget, I try and try
always in the shadows, I wish I could hide
I wish it never happened
I wish I was never born
wish and wish, sworn and sworn
but wishes dont help, praying neither
anger and depression seeping deeper and deeper
I hope to die as I want to live
my own grave I start to dig
I popped some pills, cut my wrist
only to become more angry and triste
mom why dont you help me? you know how to deal
you went through it too and still want to live
why do I let my past torment me so
all I want is to let it all go
my mind is weak, Im easy to pain
Im not even sure if I am sane
when I ask for help you ignore
and it aches my heart, like being cut with thorns
night after night I cry myself to sleep
I cry and cry until I cant speak
you yell at me more, to find what I hide
one night I told you what I held inside
you just looked at me and denied
it was like a slap in the face, you said it was a lie
ever since then the sadness has grown
I have never felt more alone
even though alone in this I have always been
trying to forget, trying to live
you failed me, as you always do
forgetting my past too soon
Im sorry, I cant live my life like this
Ive sunken too far into the depressing abyss
but I wont let go, no not yet
its still too much to simply forget
I will try to live, not in the past
but the memories will return and leave me aghast
for my pain there is no cure
but I will try my best to endure |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
...I think this one I will give to my mom when Im ready
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