| » Poem: Internal Fight |
Internal Fight
written by KaoticKitty8704:20 PM 2/5/05why wont you let me go
because you say Im too young, Im not yet grown
Im more mature than you'll ever fucking be
Im not a little girl no matter what you think of me
I laugh inside when you try to control my every move
dont you understand Im leaving you soon
you make me so fucking angry
the way your always condemning me
its not that Im doing anything wrong
even though youve wished for it all along
so you could have a proper reason to yell
you dont see that Im beginning to rebel
a person can only take so much
and Ive come to my point, enough is enough
I cannot take this bullshit anymore
its time for me to step up and even the score
I will no longer sit in the shadows while you put me down
Im about to turn my life around
so what if I dont make it, oh well
I'll be seeing your sorry ass in hell
you tell everyone what a good daughter I am
but when we are alone I can barely stand
your emotional battering leave me bitter and weak
so you yell some more when I cannot speak
after all these years you thought you were a good mother?
you let me get abused by my own brothers
who cares that you never hit me
your still too damn blind to see
you dont see the damage that was done
you didnt hear my cries when I was hung
you said you would always protect me, where were you then
maybe if you had stopped them I wouldnt want my life to end
and what about now, would you protect me from yourself
would you stop me if I tried to kill myself
no because your too wrapped up in your own life
you dont see my internal fight
Im struggling with life and death
and my patience quickly ebbs
you never truly cared about me, you never will
you have given me this urge to kill
I want to die because of you
you never stopped the agony they put me through
the anger, the pain, the misery will never cease
until my soul has been released
and what would happen then, would you cry?
knowing the facade, my happiness was a lie
would you try to cover up the fact that I was sad
would you try to lie to dad
you cannot deny what has happened to me
not everyone can be deceived
you would probably shove me back into the corner of your mind
leave me be as the one denied
no happiness no praise no dignity
only sadness and anger have I ever recieved
so remember this, when I die it will be because of you
and its just enough, if you keep this up, it will happen soon
but it wont end there, Im taking you with me
not out of love but because I resent thee
you couldnt say that you loved me once
Ive waited and waited for this needed responce
you could have warned me about the life that lies ahead
you couldnt have told me that we were better off dead
youve lied to me years and years endlessly
while Ive been living this fucked up life senselessly
you could have told me why this happened to me
but instead you prolonged the agony
dont try to understand you'll never know how I feel
I could describe it but to you it isnt real
you could never know what goes on in my mind
the flashbacks the dreams, if only I could find
the help I need, the help you could give
but no youve condemned me to this terrible end
you told me yourself that Im a meaningless whore
and you wonder why I cry evermore
this is your fault this is your choice
sit the fuck down and listen to my voice
Im tired of you anger, your hatred, your pride
day after day, how I have tried
to make you love me, make you proud
but you just throw me back into the crowd
of the endless people that dont matter
this is why your blood will splatter
you say your sorry but I know you better than that
you turn to everyone else to talk behind my back
no parent would treat their child like this
I hope that you know, when Im gone I will be missed
the people that cared will come for you
they'll want answers and to kill you too
if I could get to you first, Id stab you in your sleep
for all the times that you made me weep
Id cut off your feet so you couldnt get away
I would throw down roses at you grave
a rose for its beauty and its thorns
to show my false innocence and my scorn
I would slash your throat from side to side
for all the things I wish I could confide
I would do this just to show my hate
what? you want to change now? its too late
your time has come and so has mine
thanks for driving me out of my mind |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
its a tad bit long...but I was angry
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| » Comments / Feedback | by angrytigress_17 (3-2-2005 - 10:39 PM)
| one word...WOW(remains speechless) |
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