| So dignified, yet, bound to hide. Frozen by fear of being recognized. Lost back inside the depths of my own mind. Reliving the same events over and over. Can't shake the feeling that overwhelms me, escape from this insanity I cannot seem to discover. Blacking out, staring off, I cannot hear the words of others, only see, feel, hear touch my own thoughts. Disrespected by reputable relatives, prodigal son of sin. Thinking about a hollow point in the temple, to bring the end. To leave a blank canvas on one side of the wall, and another, filled to the ceiling and floor with art. Only to help get the message across, to insinuate to all members of this life and my fate just how badly it is has spread. My hate. Will she come to find my morbid mind appeasing? Or will my thoughts of fingers entrenched inside of every cavity, every orifice scare her. All I can see is a luscious moment, lavished in sweat, saliva, and her bodily fluid. And yet, my mind is broken, cursed at any time to be sucked into the past, and relive moments of hate, pain, fear and confusion all over again. It only brings the silent shame, the sudden burst of anger and rage. Will she ever get to me, will she ever find a way to keep these memories from over taking me. Can she really help me find the door, the exit, some link to the outside, some way out of here. I have enjoyed many fantasy's and dreams, that seem to be as visions, much like another world, another realm. But yet, inside here, time has no boundary, nor does pain, and I'm sucked into the viscera of sorrowed mental stigmata, blood gushing from the wounds inflicted. Trapped in between the thoughts of over coming it all, and being condemned to take the fall. |
