| » Poem: End This Sleep |
End This Sleep
written by SuperBob02:00 AM 8/5/04I want to fall asleep with you
I need to feel your presence through and through
The dreams through the night that haunt me
Only draw me closer to the need that taunts me
This power you hold is much too strong
I can beg that you do with it no wrong
Tugging at my nerves and clasping on my heart
Is a new feeling that has had a great start
Through the night I see it in your eyes
You constantly wonder if I tell you any lies
I wouldn't do that do you my love
I couldn't hinder your ability to rise above |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
what in the hell....fuck it...no more poems...they all suck...these are shitty and horrid...
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This Poem has been viewed 365 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by vampire_princess (8-5-2004 - 04:04 AM)
| this wasn't shitty!! i love it!! its awsome! don't stop writing!! please! |
by (anonymous) (8-5-2004 - 04:18 AM)
| I actually just got emailed this link to take a quiz....but I think your poems seem pretty good. Better than most on here in fact, so you shouldn't stop writing! -Jenna |
by tomar (8-5-2004 - 04:35 AM)
| tisn't shitty or horrid. I promise.
I am not a writer, but as a constant reader, I reccommend you keep writing. This poem is very lovely. It has a nice tone and athmosphere, but it doesn't sound complete to me. Keep writing, and don't try to force rhymes, let them come if that's possible. |
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