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Darth Vader
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posted on 3-29-2009 at 08:25 AM
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The Imperial Family
I haven't had a Hex family for two years, now... I want one again. 
I miss not being related to anybody. Who knows? Maybe I'll get to be related to more cool people who want to be related to the evil Lord Vader.
It is your destiny!
Darth Vader's
Family & Friends
_._._._._._._._._._._._
Amalie is whom I'm the bodyguard of.
Brisinger is my cookie-loving brother, Chad.
Xarule is the bounty hunter I hired to track down my
daughter's boyfriend.
zen is the 12
par-snack Kessel Running Aluminum Falcon who blew up my over-compensatory sized weapon of mass doom.
Revolver is Senator Padmé
Amidala.
kayos is my one-time mentor who has since become one with the
Force... that jerk.
Lady Nightmare is my second-in-command Admiral, Grand Moff Darth
Nightmare.
Leia Orgasma is my rebellious Rebel daughter, Princess Leia
Organa.
Dangerous Liaison is the Empire's top pilot and Commander of the Death
Star #3's Imperial starship fleet.
Lexi is my Sith wife whom I buy cute bras for.
Just fill out this little thingie and I'll add you to my family & friends.
Name:
Age:
Relation:
Jedi, Rebel, Sith, Imperial, or Bounty Hunter?:
Other/Notes: [If you want to list any other random stuff about yourself, just put 'er here.]
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Radke
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posted on 4-5-2009 at 10:40 PM
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Name: Tetrix
Age: 17
Relation: Brother [call me Chad]
Jedi, Rebel, Sith, Imperial, or Bounty Hunter?: Imperial Jedi Sith Rebel, doubling as a bounty hunter.
Other/Notes: I like cookies.
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-6-2009 at 12:42 AM
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OMGYEY!
Welcome, Chad! How is the Empire Market?
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Radke
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posted on 4-6-2009 at 05:48 PM
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Darth Vader
OMGYEY!
Welcome, Chad! How is the Empire Market? |
Pretty good, actually. We're not that far off from dominating the entire state WITH LIGHTSABER SLASHED PRICES!
Oh, and we need your endorsment on a new cereal. Admiral Ackbar couldn't be reached -__-
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 12:07 AM
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Your brother is proud of you! The Empire Market will soon be the ultimate supermarket in the universe!
But that cereal agent has failed me for the last time. Admiral Ackbar Cereal with brine shrimp had such potential.
New cereal? *makes picture frame motion with hands* I CAN SEE IT NOW. Wookiee Charms! Hmm... Rebels Cereal! NO. Luke Loops.
Yes...
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Xarule
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 01:05 AM
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I just got the joke
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0
Which is sad because I've seen this before
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 01:18 AM
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I saw it on this thing called "atom" on MTV,
along with a bunch of other fan-based Star Wars parodies.
Is you want to join family? 
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Xarule
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 01:31 AM
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sure..... um can I be ummm.... the bounty hunter you hire to track down your daughter's boyfriend?
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 01:44 AM
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Fo' show, Fett!
But NO DISINTEGRATIONS.
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zen
rearranging the cosmos
Posts: 25545
fame: 28158
honor: 1209325
karma: 169
Registered: 12-7-2002
Member Is Online
 My Stats
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 01:49 AM
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Name: Aluminum Falcon
Age: 129 galactic years
Relation: used to blow up your over-compensatory sized weapons of mass doom
Ran the White-Kessel run in 12 par-snacks
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 02:24 AM
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OMG I'M RELATED TO ZEN.
*worships Aluminum Falcon*
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Radke
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posted on 4-8-2009 at 05:31 AM
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XD I remember that! XD
"What the HELL is an Aluminim Falcon!" ...classic.
Luke Loops, then? We'll be waiting for your call!
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-9-2009 at 07:53 AM
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Always good classics.
*gives call*
Luke Loops' theme shall be composed by the Cantina Band, as well! Admiral Ackbar rejected them, that Calamari bastard.
I've got the perfect ad campaign:
"Luke Loops, a wonderful breakfast cereal that flows with the Force and microscopic midi-chlorians in every bite-sized munch!
Emperor Palpatine: THE FORCE IS STRONNNNGGGG WITH THIS CEREAL. *eats spoonful of Luke Loops*
*cue Luke Loops theme music*"
Huh?! Huh?!
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Radke
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posted on 4-9-2009 at 06:48 PM
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Darth Vader
Always good classics.
*gives call*
Luke Loops' theme shall be composed by the Cantina Band, as well! Admiral Ackbar rejected them, that Calamari bastard.
I've got the perfect ad campaign:
"Luke Loops, a wonderful breakfast cereal that flows with the Force and microscopic midi-chlorians in every bite-sized munch!
Emperor Palpatine: THE FORCE IS STRONNNNGGGG WITH THIS CEREAL. *eats spoonful of Luke Loops*
*cue Luke Loops theme music*"
Huh?! Huh?! |
I can dig it, I can dig it...Palpatine's popularity has been down since that whole Death Star fiasco. This could really boost his career.
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-10-2009 at 10:44 AM
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Most indefinitely. We could have him advertise a whole chain of Imperial and Empirical products! Maybe a hit TV show, a debut
space metal album... Palpatine will be on the MAP, BITCH.
*goes to make some coffee, a little on the Dark side*
By the way... Vader wants a fiánce or someone.  It'll help me cope
with the pain and lose of P... P... Pa... PADMÉ. 
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Xarule
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posted on 4-10-2009 at 07:11 PM
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Ok Darth.... is it okay if I call you Darth? I have good news, I was flying through the trash when I saw the target flying through the trash towards
some place called.... well my navicomputer is calling it Lando.
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Radke
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posted on 4-10-2009 at 09:12 PM
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Damn, now you go and get all sentimental on me...I can't handle this kind of...this kind of p-p-pressure... 
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Xarule
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posted on 4-10-2009 at 09:50 PM
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| Quote: | Originally posted by Tetrix Gahma
Damn, now you go and get all sentimental on me...I can't handle this kind of...this kind of p-p-pressure... |
If the pressure is too much then maybe I could disintegrate the source?
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-10-2009 at 10:22 PM
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*collects self and comes back to calmness from time in hyperbaric chamber*
I have already informed you that there shall be NO DISINTEGRATIONS, bounty hunter. Defy me, and I shall claim your Slave starship and make
use of it by putting it in a chop-shop, and then using the pieces to construct the Death Star III. *wags finger while talking*
And you, Chad. Perhaps you should take some relaxation time in my hyperbaric chamber. It relieves stress for only three easy payments of only $19.96.
But if you make haste of this magnificent opportunity now, I'll cut the price in half, and I'll even take off a payment! That's right! The comfort
and serenity of my enhanced, state-of-the-art hyperbaric chamber is available to you for only two easy payments of only $9.98! Call now!
I am applying for a job in television advertising. Some quick credits in this time of intergalactic economic recession. I think I'm getting the hang
of it.
Now. What is the significance of this "Lando"?
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Radke
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posted on 4-11-2009 at 06:02 AM
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Darth, man, I think I will have to take you up on that offer.
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-11-2009 at 10:51 AM
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A wise decision, brother. 
I am also in need of an apprentice, now that I no longer have a master. After the Death Star incident, he became fed up with my lack of loyalty. So,
now he's looking at minor cereal commercial cameos.
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Xarule
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posted on 4-11-2009 at 03:39 PM
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The Navcomputer just reads
"Crazy, Insane Sale. All the Tabana Gass you can grab. Cheap Cheap Cheap. Come See Crazy Lando Calrissian for cheap Tabana. Use it to Vape your
enemies, Huff, I hear it makes a good cleaning tool. I have A surpluss of Tabana, in fact I have a whole planet full of it, so if you need Tabana
Come See Crazy Lando just off the Corellian Trade Spine Between Varonat and Anoat you can't miss it."
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Radke
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posted on 4-11-2009 at 03:51 PM
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Vady, baby, don't worry. We will find you everything you need-even if we can't stock it.
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-13-2009 at 08:18 AM
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Ah, yes. Lando Calrissian. The man that BLEW UP MY SECOND GODDAMN DEATH STAR.
Ahem.
There will be a substantial reward for the one who finds and captures Lando Calrissian. You are free to use any methods necessary, but I want him
alive.
Make sure he brings some of that tabana gass, as well.
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Darth Vader
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posted on 4-16-2009 at 01:32 AM
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*plays the Imperial Family March on a clarinet* 
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