| » Poem: candy to blood (comments plz) |
candy to blood (comments plz)
written by mishy007701:25 PM 2/25/05Lots of candy in my hands
Taking me to promised lands
Get a gun, shoot me dead
Now blood is pouring out my head
Candies turn to blood in my hand
Pouring onto this banished land
Splashing on the deep blue sand
Is the blood running from my hand
The red and blue, blending in well
It's staining a fresh white shell
The sand soaks up the deep blood
Turning the texture into red mud |
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Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
Just a muck about poem PLEASE COMMENT
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This Poem has been viewed 356 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by KrAziixOvAxYoOh (2-25-2005 - 01:27 PM)
| good but creepy,at least u rhymed! lOl but way 2 creepy 4 sum1 like me and my friend goin thru krazii tymez. |
by (guest) (2-25-2005 - 01:39 PM)
| hey that was tight, but you should lay off the colors just a little bit and say that your *fading away to a shady tomorrow when all i am is filled with sorrow* |
by Imbeyondthelight (2-25-2005 - 02:01 PM)
| I love the rhymes and the way you explained the suicide rather than just say what you were going to do. I loved it. |
by (guest) (2-25-2005 - 03:01 PM)
| That is amazing. I's awesome! |
by (guest) (2-25-2005 - 03:01 PM)
| That is amazing. I's awesome! |
by burningup_inside (2-25-2005 - 07:18 PM)
| it's good but the last few lines don't flow right |
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