| » Poem: And Mind Goes Blank... |
And Mind Goes Blank...
written by LieBerthalZz gUrlie 4eVa02:36 AM 9/22/04Mind went blank.
Pitch black.
Feelings,
emotions,
shot,
gone,
distraught.
Does that matter to you?
I doubt that.
Did it ever matter to you?
Probably not.
Because if they had any
effect on you whatsoever,
I wouldn't have the need to write this,
or the urge to feel I must write this.
You're not here,
and while I hate myself for saying this,
some part of me believes you never really were.
Maybe that was always to painful for me
to realize at the time,
or to want to realize it.
Okay, you've played your role as being
the person you were set out to be at times,
but you're not where you were set out to be anytime,
or where I need you to be most of the time,
or where I want you to be all of the time,
you're too far away,
no you're not, your close,
close enough to feel, close enough to see
you exist as being real...
no you're not,
you're far.
When I close my eyes, I see you,
or maybe it's just that I believe I see you,
or maybe I WANT to believe I see you,
but we can't always have what we want.
Why is that?
Why is it that something so necessary in one's life,
something so important in one's life,
is everything so distant in one's life?
So distant to almost be nothing at all?
So blurred when viewed by the human eye,
or the human heart, or the human soul?
As much as accepting this fact kills me,
I'm not able to make you appear to be here,
to be somewhere you never really were to begin with,
but I can dream, can't I?
Am I with the power to dream of you?
To create an image of the way I wanted you to be?
The way I want you to be?
The way I will forever want you to be?
No...because at some point, sooner or later,
I will come to realize that my dreams are far from real,
and that's the way they'll remain,
and because of that,
we are given a time to wish, and a time to face the truth,
a time to live in imagination, and a time
to enter that world of reality,
the world where you don't exist,
yet, you do exist, only as a non-existant form of someome,
someone I never really got to know,
to accept, to understand,
and I never got the opportunity to ask you
why out of the clear blue, you decided to disappear,
leaving me without any word of your disappearance,
or when and if you would ever return,
I never even knew for certain if you loved me,
or if I really loved you,
however, amongst all these years,
I've grown to capture the power of realizing
yet, but one thing...
I've always loved you,
always wanted to love you,
and from this day on until the rest of my life,
will continue to love you...
every part of you...
but you're not here to appreciate it,
to accept it,
to understand it,
or to even allow me to know
you feel the same way back...
I love you...
and mind goes blank. |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
This is for my dad, it's every feeling I've ever felt about him since he left when my mom and him got divorced. I see him everyday, but it'll never be the same like it was when I used to wake up to him, spend my day with him, and end my night to him, it'll just never be the same.
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