| » Poem: the point that i cant relate |
the point that i cant relate
written by Poison Ivy11:26 PM 10/17/04| Why do I cut, that is a question, that I can’t answer, sadly. Why do I want to hurt myself? Its not a cry for help, because I don’t want it. Its not out of boredom, because I have plenty of things to keep me busy. So why do I do it? Is it because I never had a childhood? Because I never had friends in 3rd grade? Is it because my imaginary friend was a vampire? Was that the reason for my ill-being? No, it’s not that. But the fact that I let myself become what I am. I let the world rape my faith, steal my joy, and I let my love crumble beneath my own feet. I killed my inner child, to shut her up. To make her crying stop ringing in my head. To make my room quiet for a change. Did I kill her for my own pleasure? Was I the one that raped her? I hope not. Why do I love a world without color? Just a picture of black and grey. No white. It’s too pure for me. To live in the chaos of my synthetic world. To sleep as I walk the dirty pavement, we step across every day. Why do I relate to the lyrics of evanescence so damn well? When I also have a world of paper flowers, and candy clouds of lullaby. I lie inside myself for hours, and watch my purple sky fly over me. How lovely that would be if it were real. But we can only dream. And how pathetic am I, to relate to the words of Korn? Oh god, the anger’s changing me. Tell me, where do I begin? My mind is laughing at me! Tell me, why am I to blame, our ways are both paved the same, that’s why I will never tame this thing that’s burning in me. I am the one who chose my path, I am the one who couldn’t live, I feel the life fall away, I feel the anger changing me. And is it? Is that alone the reason for all of this? I hope not. Smashing pumpkins speaks my mind also. Loneliness is cleanliness, cleanliness is godliness, and god is empty, just like me. But I can only think god is empty, but I only say that out of anger. But how is this tied in to my problems, that’s not the point im trying to get out. Is there a point at all? |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
just a bunch of thoughts running into my head all at one time
[ View Poison Ivy's Profile ] [ Go to the Poetry Portal ]
This Poem has been viewed 385 times
|
|
|
|
