Suicide draws near,
Filling myself with lies,
Of love, frienship, life,
All I really am is a hollow shell,
Left by those who had nothing to live for,
No matter what I have tolled everyone,
No one understands what I really feel.
This isn't the first time I have felt this feeling,
My mind often plays tricks on me,
I ask myself these questions,
Is love just a word?
Why am I here?
What do I have to live for?
I can't answer these questions.
My body is weak, just like my heart,
I'll take the easy way out, ending my pain,
I never thought it would come to this,
My life flashing before my eyes,
I close my eyes, thinking of everyone else,
But, who really knew me? Who really loved me?
....No one....
This life's meaning is no more,
My heart can't take this pain no longer,
I hate everything now, everyone,
I'll do it tonight,
End my pain, end my agony.
The sky darkens as I find myself in my room,
Everyone, sleeping in their beds,
I write this poem, a pistol laying on my desk,
I admit I am weak, but,
I don't believe I have anything to live for.
Crying, holding the barrel to my head,
I say goodbye to those I once thought dearly of,
They scream at me, telling me to stop,
Yet they not know of the pain I really feel,
They just don't understand.
A ear-splitting gunshot heard,
My blood splattered on the wall,
I know now what I have really done,
Giving up everything, I hate this...
My corpse being dragged to the hospital.
My picture held over a coffin,
Being lowered in a hole,
My gravestone placed next to the hole,
Everyone crying, frowning, asking why?
My friends gathering around the coffin,
Even the person I once knew and loved.
Their faces contradict their feelings,
They don't really care about me,
They're just here to seem kind,
All they really are is cold,
Just like my now dead body.
No one will remember me,
The person who would of become great,
I guess that doesn't matter now that I'm dead,
I knew they didn't care about me,
I knew they wouldn't remember me.
This is my fate,
Taking away all that I am,
The bullet of relief,
The end of anguish. |
