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hidden fears
written by DeaD_DyinG_PaiN02:05 AM 11/20/04| I think I messed up really bad this time… I don’t think its like before I don’t think I can take it all back. I think he hates me.. Well I hate him too.. Oh god what am I saying what did I do? Things where so perfect like a dream until the bad habits come rolling back. I push another one away but this time for good. They just want to see me fail fall on my face. To give up all hope but I wont let them win!!! But hope is leaving fast with each breathless day I feel less and less happy its all slipping away.. To fast for my caring less eyes my heart is so dried up beating slowly. Please just stop yelling but they don’t hear me so I run to my room and cry myself asleep once again. Where is my hero when I need her? Where is Patrick’s caring full arms around me? I just grab my teddy bear and hold it close to me and cry even harder.. Oh how life sucks when your alone when you given up all hope… I hate this world and I hate everyone close to me I hate myself and I even hate you. I can hear Patrick’s voice repeating over and over in my mind backwash his blood I don’t care just make it stop. Is there anyone home can you even hear me or do you even care? I had a dream about you again I touched you face and then I waken.. I cant sleep again everyone is fine that knew you why cant I get over it why? Why must you mess with my mind and heart. Your where the only one who cared. And you promised and I don’t even know you. I feel like no one here understands me. Like I’m an outcast. I loved you but I guess that wasn’t enough for you I guess you never truly cared.. Of all the things you thought me and all the things you did for me I still hate you. Oh how I miss you and all the things you did and all the fights we had it doesn’t matter now that your gone. I wish I could have stood in your shoes and then I wouldn’t have to ask why? I keep your ring safe with me I never let it out of my site. Its like I’m all alone.. Do you know what your doing to me? I cant make it through a day without thinking of you stop it just go away.. Something isn’t right I can feel it deep in side. Its so unkind all this flesh and bone. Today was the worse day of my life today was the day I knew you weren’t coming back…. today was the day it wont be the same.. Oh I just miss you so bad……… I look at your pale cold face I hug you but your arms don’t warp around me oh please just wake up.. Wake up please for me its me and you alone don’t leave me alone please just wake up…oh god just take me away from this place.. I love you but I must get over this.. I miss you |
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