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Monster
written by ieatsmellysocks09:42 PM 12/5/04I ran to my room,locked the door
Turned on my marilyn manson cd and sat on the floor
I had to cut though I told you I would not
It would be really bad if by you I got caught
I grabbed my knife and broke the promise I promised you
I just cannot deal with the shit im going through
Im sorry that I broke my promise though you must have known I would
Its my only way of dealing with things and it works really good
I carved the word lie into my bleeding arm
Drank the blood like I always do when I self harm
They think im a monster because I cut when I am stressed
They hide me from the world,make sure no one knows im depressed
If you cannot hear my cries for help,maybe I can make you see
My problems are far worse than just an unhappy family
Look at my bleeding arm don’t punish me or yell
Don’t pretend that everythings ok don’t tell me im going to hell
I tried so hard to change
But the new me was just so strange
I cant deal with this now im going insane
All I want is a new kind of pain
They call me mutilator, they call me freak
I want to kill myself every day of the week
Cutting is the only way I can deal
With this shit with the horrible way I always feel
I know that I told you I wouldnt do it again
But I lied to you,aren’t I a horrible friend
I don’t deserve to be saved yet you forgive me
Because my problems are far worse than an unhappy family
For just one day
I’d like the pain to go away
To be able to stay away from the knife
For just one day I’d like to live my life |
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