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» Poem: When Will I
When Will I
written by Lothiriel
06:55 AM 12/21/04
I’m so afraid of being alone
So afraid that no one will be there if you go
So scared of not having someone who will take me if all else fails
So I hurt you
I hurt everyone
Begging for secrets that I don’t try and hide
Not pretending to understand why I keep lying
Why I keep openly hiding
Why I keep shaming myself
And leaving a trail of pain behind me

I don’t understand why I don’t stop when you cry
I’ve made you cry
How many times do I have to make you cry
When I am so damn stubborn in my ways
But believe me that I don’t understand my ways
It’s like a disease that keeps pumping more furiously in me
The deeper I go into repression
Into depression
The further I push you away
When all that you want is my love in return
And I do love you
I love you so deep that it scares me
And I can’t seem to find a readiness
To subject myself to settle
Until I’m so tired and worn out
that no one wants to be close to me anymore

If this is the best I can give you
I don’t blame you for hating me
Please don’t cry for me anymore
Because with your hand in mine
I have faith in myself
I know you’ve heard this all before
I know I can change

Because I love you


All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.

Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
©2004 Loth Roxx Writings

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