| » Poem: Cascading (I NEED FEEDBACK! VERY IMPT.) |
Cascading (I NEED FEEDBACK! VERY IMPT.)
written by cryptic_misery09:04 PM 2/1/05My eyes are windows
Look into my soul
See the pain you've caused me,
but do not touch the hole.
My heart was once there,
You took it away
Now a hole grows
Each and every day
My breath is the wind
It gradually fades
Soft, lonely journey
my life cascades
My soul is a tortured bird
Suffers than it falls
Sitting in the shadow
Right as the end calls... |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
This poem was submitted in by me on 8-2-04. This poem has been read by many strangers and friends, and i've gotten great feedback on it. I'm submitting it again because it was published into a book called "Invoking The Muse". I am very proud of myself, and I'd like to hear some more feedback on my poem! Please leave comments for me, it would mean a lot! And I'm also happy because I MADE IT ONTO THE FIRST PAGE! :) Thank you for reading, hope to hear lots of feedback.
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This Poem has been viewed 392 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by boom_boom13 (2-1-2005 - 09:21 PM)
| it's really kewl... with the ending and the the beginning with each stanza. very good indeed, i applaud you. |
by (guest) (2-1-2005 - 09:43 PM)
| very good poem..i give u props for that how u relate it all to sumthin.. |
by Suicidal_Amber (2-1-2005 - 09:58 PM)
| Very good poem, but I think you already new that due to the book thingy... Great Job. - Amber - |
by Genocide Reaper (3-11-2005 - 01:58 AM)
| Its an astounding poem.. Great work. |
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