| » Poem: I Dont Even Know |
I Dont Even Know
written by ieatsmellysocks11:22 PM 2/15/05| Ive always known something was wrong with me.I figured it was just depression.I hid it for the longest time while secretly wishing i could get better.When i finally got to go talk to my counsellor about it,i realized that i dont even know if i want help anymore.No one liked me when i wasnt depressed,they didnt like me for me.They like the quiet,withdrawn,suicidal person ive become.I dont know if i want to be this way forever.I hate being depressed but everyone else hates me when im not.Maybe i'd be better off depressed and finally kill myself.They all want me dead anyway.I told my counsellor about my sleeping problems,my loss of appetite,i just spilled my guts to a stranger.All the stuff ive kept a secret for so long.I thought i was strong enough to just keep pretending everything is ok.If they put me on medication,will it be any better?Will i finally find out who i really am, when im not depressed?What is my real personality?The one depression killed.Now im just lifeless.Maybe thats a good thing.I dont even know. |
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Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
Not really a poem,just me writing down whatim worrying about
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| » Comments / Feedback | by Sik_demon_chik (2-15-2005 - 11:27 PM)
| Same here bud. But I got put on meds and I was better, but then I realized it just blinds me and I couldn't see reality for what ot was. Be yourself no matter what. Depressed or not. Depression is a part of EVERYONE. Just mix it with the real you...if you can it. |
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