| » Poem: final beat**comment** |
final beat**comment**
written by sweetiepie8904:08 PM 2/26/05the misty air see bofore you eyes is my soul parting from my withered dying body.
a cloud starts to form over my eyes as my lungs draw thier final breath.
there was no life flashing before my eyes, just the final beat of my heart |
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| » Comments / Feedback | by burningup_inside (2-26-2005 - 04:09 PM)
| it's okay but the first bit is confusing |
by CHATTYBIB (2-26-2005 - 04:12 PM)
| It was ok but you don't see your heart beat for the last time... But it was good, i could't do any better |
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