| » Poem: i HATE you DAD, but i LOVE you. |
i HATE you DAD, but i LOVE you.
written by perfect.flaws11:28 PM 3/4/05I sit here and wonder how it used to be.
When it was just you and me.
But the good things only come to mind.
Why did you just leave me behind.
You don't even give a shit about me,
so much time has gone by,
you didn't have to lie.
When i say "daddy" it just seems so foreign,
I miss you so much more than you could ever know.
I try and lift my head up high, keep up my chin.
So many times too often i would sit and cry,
but now i wonder why.
I hate myself for missing you!
I hate myself for loving you!
I hate you for never being there!
I hate you for saying that you would be there!
I pity you!
I never understood why everytime
they'd get you help, you ended up
where your started off.
But now it's clear, how can they help you
if you don't want to help yourself!
You fuking Drunk asshole,
all you ever did was think about yourself!
you spent out 700 dollar christmas money,
on your fuking drugs and alcohol!
It hurts so much inside!
It fucking hurts so much!!!
Why does it fuking hurt!
You say you love me!
But if you really loved me
you would fuking stop everything
you do, and apologize for everything you've done!
I don't understand why you aren't dead
after all the alcohol you've bled!
I remember the time, when you were going to come see me,
but soon i was upset,
for it was just another lie,
all i could do was cry,
sit there and wonder why
you'd say something that you didn't mean.
Thinking why did you have me as a daughter,
if you weren't going to be a father!
I hate myself for missing you!
I hate myself for loving you!
I hate you for never being there!
I hate you for saying that you would be there!
I
t hurts so much, it fuking hurts so much!
Why the fuck does it hurt so fuking much!!
I really am afraid you'll die,
from all the stupid fuckied up things you've done.
I want to see you face one last time,
i want to be in yours arms once more.
I want to hear your soothing voice
inside my head again.
I want you to give me a rose, and those heartshaped sunglasses one last time.
because in my heart i will always love you.
but in my pain i'll always hate you for what you've made my life.
I've often wondered what it might be like,
to have that father figure, to grow up with.
but i guess i can't dwell on the past, when it's something i know i'll never have. Something i'll never feel.
I hate myself for missing you!
I hate myself for loving you!
I hate you for never being there!
I hate you for saying that you would be there!
In my heart i will always love you.
but in my pain i'll always hate you for what you've made my life. |
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Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
A poem i wrote about a year ago, i know its long.
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This Poem has been viewed 378 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by XsouredXfaithX (3-4-2005 - 11:31 PM)
| i can understand...i wasnt allowed to eat much because my mom and dad spent it on cigerattes and pot...nice poem VERY intense once you get into it and the affect of it being long works out to but since it is long people dont usually take the time to read it if it was a shorter poem but im glad i did cuz it was really good |
by ForEverLonley (3-4-2005 - 11:33 PM)
| omg, that poem was AMAZING, and its so scary how i can relate, like u have no idea, thats EXACLY wut i'm going through, keep it up!
*Renae |
by Choking_Away_Life (3-5-2005 - 12:40 AM)
| that's a really good poem...it's all too familiar
-rosie |
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