| » Poem: WHY? |
WHY?
written by DeaD_DyinG_PaiN06:43 PM 3/13/05| I don’t care anymore, I have learned to block them out. Yeah you can kind of say I’m numb but more like comfortable numb. I sit in math class staring out the window, not staring off into space but more like looking for something. I don’t want to cry but the tears wont stop. And people ask me “Leeann are you okay?” and I want to tell them but the words get caught in my throat and I’m downing from the inside out. I don’t know how to make the pain go away this time. I don’t know why I’m sad I just want to make it stop. I want to get better but I cant even help myself. I miss my friends, I miss Patrick, and most of all I miss the old me. It hurt so bad. And you later ask what hurts Leeann and truthfully I really don’t know what hurts but I know it wont stop. I’m scared, not scared of them, I’m scared of myself. Writing helps me escape all this but sometimes its not enough. When the pain is way over bare able I cut through it but its doesn’t help me anymore. And without that security I am left alone, I have nothing but, ….but scars. I hide from them in the bathroom at school I cant let them see me cry, if I do they will get what they want and never will I let them see how bad they truly did hurt me. I haven’t seen your grave since your funeral, and when I saw it the other day it didn’t help, it just killed every warm feeling a had left now I cant feel anything but the cold. The sadness has transformed into hatred and now I’m angry with the world. And I am really lost with in myself why can’t I be happy like the rest of these people. But of coarse im talking to the clouds you cant hear me because you don’t exist. |
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