| » Poem: The stranger |
The stranger
written by blurredvisions08:44 PM 3/16/05A stranger in the darkness,
A shadow in my heart,
Willingness to leave here,
Desire for your love,
I've been here for so long, I'm dying!!
And my family's saying goodbye,
So here i am please take me.
I'm sick of all the fights,
I want to start life over.
The heat of your eyes; so tempting,
I cannot deny,
If i leave i will hurt,
But if i stay i will die,
Hold me, kiss me, touch me,
Forever and for always,
I am thirsting for your love,
You who i do not know,
I cannot wait any longer.
I hear your heart in the beating dark
I need more time, but how can i wait?
CAN'T wait to get to know you.
Nothing I know will change how much i want you
You are all i need and dream of
Just one night with you and i'll be fine to live,
But i am ALWAYS wanting you. |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
GOD! i sound like such a slut in this poem... i was feeling lonely and shit. hmmm... i have never shown this to anyone before. why? because it SUCKKKKKKKKS. comment if you read it, please.
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| » Comments / Feedback | by bitter_beauty_of_death (3-16-2005 - 08:46 PM)
| I likey. It's really dark and has the undercurrent of unrealized love and then the wanting desire for sex. No you don't sound like a slut. |
by Dianesjewels (3-16-2005 - 08:49 PM)
| It doesn't flow all that well; and you seem to jump around in your thought process. You have some good lines in there and a few good uses of poetic language; but with some work, you could make this a really good poem. On a final note, it does sound like you are talking less about lust and more about the need for love. |
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