| » Poem: Scared of the dark (COMMENT PLEASE!!!) |
Scared of the dark (COMMENT PLEASE!!!)
written by blurredvisions09:54 PM 3/16/05The shadows close in around me,
The darkness swallows me whole,
I'm stuck in a cloud of blackness,
I see fire, I see coal.
I'm unsure of where I'm standing,
I'm alone in the dark night,
A pathway lit by the fire,
A fire not even bright.
I'm afraid as I walk on ward,
And the wind roars in my ears,
I hear the Father call my name,
And it stirs up my worst fears.
Who is calling in the darkness?
Is it Father, can it be?
I cannot escape the feeling...
Reality's mocking me!
I cannot see where I run to,
The fire quickly burnt out,
I realize my Father didn't call,
Hear his voice... Satan, no doubt!!
Oh, PLEASE tell me this is a dream,
This cannot be serious,
I anxiously open my eyes...
To find I was delirious. |
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This Poem has been viewed 129 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by Dianesjewels (3-16-2005 - 09:56 PM)
| I see you did some editing; it's better. Good work. |
by mattslilvampgirl (3-16-2005 - 10:00 PM)
| Love The Poem. I Like The Rhyms |
by blurredvisions (3-16-2005 - 10:05 PM)
| thanks! hehe. im smiling. i had a bad day. i showed this guy it and he basically TORE it appart saying it made NO sense what-so-ever and that it sucked. it feels good to be complimented on it by the professionals. lol. thanks again!!! |
by highasakite23 (3-16-2005 - 11:24 PM)
| I couldn't really understand what you were directing toward. I mean are you talking about a priest and satan and you went over to satan's side? |
by PerplexinglyFalseReality (3-16-2005 - 11:41 PM)
| Whoever said it made no sense would have to have the mental capabilities of a two year old. An excellent poem i enjoyed reading it and I don't even trust your 'father' but very well done
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by BrokenStarz (3-17-2005 - 04:52 AM)
| Yeah it'z totally wicked now! Great job. |
by blurredvisions (3-18-2005 - 02:38 AM)
| THANKS!!!! "Father" is supposed to be god... does it make better sense now? |
by Avathar (3-30-2005 - 04:41 PM)
| A bit of warning, every poem I write is serios, so you should stay away from any poem by me |
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