| » Poem: sober? |
sober?
written by DeaD_DyinG_PaiN07:18 PM 3/18/05| Bright stinking sun light, but I’m to dead to move to see. The cold chills that run up and down my spine tell me its time to get up but I’m suddenly motionless. My world still hasn’t stopped spinning, and all I think of is not how to be sober. the first step on the road to recovery is admitting you have a problem, I’m fine so I get fucked up its not what I dream about. I’ll just push aside my feelings and pretend to be okay, I’m fine it only hurts when I breathe. These pills aren’t working how many do I have to take in order for it to take this endless pain away. The only think that can help more then the drugs is to forget who I am but you can only hide from yourself for so long and in no time its back like an itch that you just cant seem to scratch. There are things worse in life then this but how come it feels like this is as worse as it can get. It started out as a party thing, now I need it everyday I’m losing my sanity in this bullshit. And no matter how long I try to go without it, it never lasts longer then a week before I’m begging you for another fix. You think I like to wake every morning and have to push myself to get up and not to stop breathing. I hate it, but I made my life like this and if feels like there is no where to go. I write a suicide note and picture you holding it close to you as you stare at my lifeless body, the tears begin to fall. I then throw it away I don’t want you to have to feel what I feel within myself everyday of my life. See I stopped it and still I feel empty. It feels so good to inhale and exhale. Why would I wish to stop? Here I am talking to myself again. I can help people with their problems but why come I can’t help myself with mine? I can’t take this anymore, yeah you can help make me disappear…. |
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