| » Poem: SLOW SUICIDE(COMMENTS NE 1) |
SLOW SUICIDE(COMMENTS NE 1)
written by Ev0l_sin#TRIP10:09 PM 3/21/05STUPID SUICIDAL THOUGHTS
MADE WITH THE DREAMS THAT I HAVE BOUGHT
WITH LOVE AND SHARES
AND BROKEN CARES
WITH THE NOOSE AROUND MY SOUL SO TAUGHT
I WOULDN'T HAVE LET U LOVE ME
BELIEVE ME I KNOW ITS TRU
BUT I WANT U THO, TO KNOW WHO I LOVED
THAT ONE SINGLE PERSON WAS YOU
THRU HELL AND BACK
FOREVER AND END
WITH LIES U NEVER KNEW
IT KILLS ME THAT I COULD TRULY HURT YOU
MY CHARRED HEART IS BLACK AND RENEWED
WITH MY EYES SO DARK AND CALLICED
LOVE IS MY ONE TRU CURSE
I GUESS EVERYTHING IS BALANCED
EVEN THO IT HURTS
I PRAY UR FINE,
AND WHEN MY ASHES HAVE ALL BURNED
AND MY BODY'S COLLECTED BY TIME
I PRAY TO GOD THAT YOU KNOW
LOVE WAS MY SLOW SUICIDE |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
IT DOESN'T FLOW THAT WELL AND I DON'T KNOW IF I LIKE IT ?????
[ View Ev0l_sin#TRIP's Profile ] [ Go to the Poetry Portal ]
This Poem has been viewed 168 times
|
|
| » Comments / Feedback | by not_alive_nor_dead (3-21-2005 - 10:12 PM)
| it was an amazing poem..... i like it... it's sad and it don't flow vry well.. if u start ryming then u should finish ryming.. get what ime saying.. but it is a beautiful poem.. i love it:) |
by loren13 (3-21-2005 - 10:15 PM)
| it would have been better if it had rhymed all the way through or not at the beggining but i thought it did flow well and i really liked it :) |
by PainIsGood (3-21-2005 - 11:14 PM)
| it was good but you need for rhyme in it. but other than that it was good. |
|
|
|
|
