| » Poem: bloody note |
bloody note
written by melons08:22 PM 3/27/05Kill me now
Kill me quick
Smash my head against a brick
Slit my wrist
Cut my throat
I hope you read my bloody note
Bloody dripping oozing from my head
The love of my life gone drove me to dead
This is what the bloody note said
“I love you much to my heart content
This is not an accident
My heart is full of torment
I couldn’t get over you
Oh but I wonted to
You see this note is overdue
I can’t go on like this
Not feeling that last kiss
To some and others I don’t even exists
But you were never there to catch me when I fall
I was just a broken doll
Goodbye I’m going to miss you all
Please don’t lose a tear to me and cry
This was my time to die
But this is my last and only goodbye” |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
i feel so crap that if i did wont to die then i would leave this out for all to see...
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This Poem has been viewed 581 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by arnie (3-27-2005 - 09:53 PM)
by AthiestAnarchist (3-27-2005 - 10:26 PM)
| i love your poetry....It's all really good. YOu did a great job on this one. |
by The Black Halo (3-28-2005 - 10:34 AM)
| Don't force your rhymes, and use some bloody punctuation. Your poetry is the same old shit spewing out of every station. Be an individual, and write what comes to mind, fuck the emo bullshit that I always seem to find. Write about nature, torment and repression, fuck the pathetic bullshit depression. |
by (guest) (3-28-2005 - 01:52 PM)
by sweet_trish (3-29-2005 - 02:46 PM)
| awee...so bloody.. love ur poem |
by Gothic_Pirate (3-30-2005 - 06:14 AM)
by MoodPhilosophy (3-30-2005 - 06:22 PM)
| The poem starts much better than it ends. It begins with a lot of energy, then it gets a bit lazy. Proper punctuation would help, though. Too bad you claim to be serious about the whole suicide thing. Suffering in silence is much more artistic. The footnote just makes you sound immature. Please try again.
-Uli |
by trulybroken57 (3-30-2005 - 07:44 PM)
| i agree w/ ethereia. ur rhymes r way too forced..... |
by Werewolf_Inuyasha (3-31-2005 - 04:14 AM)
| awesome poem. deep. deep poems are the best keep it up. |
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