| » Poem: the butterfly (chicks feelings by a guy) |
the butterfly (chicks feelings by a guy)
written by butcakes09:52 AM 3/29/05as she walks past, you catch eye of the smooth and graceful elegance that seems to be, temporarily, a butterfly, flapping its wings gently through the cosm of hollow existance; the existance that was once blooming, until the butterfly condemned them less than her; making them forever strive to meet the visual extravagance, that is, the butterfly.
oh, how they strive to be like her; forever struggling to free themselves from the mouth that intends to swallow them. but they realise they will never meet her standards; never be free of the struggle to be like her; the butterfly. with all this set upon them, they think all is over and nothing goes their way; that is, until the teacher throws her the obvious and you realise there is merely nothing behind the eyes of this angel.
oh, how they desire her life, to be like her; until they realise there is a dead body inside this beautifully carved wood of the coffin. the butterflys' friends only stick with her for the defence recieved; one slip up from them; one wrong word in her presence and all will be lost. but the friend never show any true love towards her; they are never present when she is in true times of need and lonliness. and though they would give all to obtain her visual beauty, this reward is short lived as time ages and so does she.
they pass on to the better things of life that are worth living; thus, she is left buried in her own selfishness, with only her beauty to save her; but the beauty is surpast due to time and so she is taken under and is drowning. in secret, she wishes she could be like them; oh, how she yearns for it; the desire is overwhelming. in the end, the butterfly propels herself into the fire, she gives into her own struggle against the flytrap due to the lack of love from others.
she quickly shrivels up into undesirable ashes; all the beauty destroyed in an instant. they cannot see why she would commit such an act when, to them, she had it all; but to her, it became unbearable, frustrating and worthless. but they do not realise that they themselves are permenant cocoons; not as appealing on the outside, but all the worlds beauty on the inside.
she is merely a fallen angel with nothing behind her eyes; a beautifully carved coffin with a rotting corpse inside, desintegrating from the worlds pressures and expectations, desintegrating inside with no going back. she is, in the end, another bindy in the grass, another pain that will subside, another sting from the bee; but the swelling will eventually die down... |
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Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
by the way... all the poems i post are raw... i never edit them before i put them up here. i wrote this about 2 years ago... i tried to capture the feelings of girls, but im a guy hahaha... but i showed it to some girls and they liked it...! tell me what u think... p.s. how do u view reviews of ur poems??
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| » Comments / Feedback | by weeping_violet (3-29-2005 - 11:13 AM)
| Yeah very good, there were lots of big words and i'm a bit of a dumbass but i manged to get your drift. Your poem makes out how us girls feel and i can relate to it in a way of my own. I think your poems good when you relate it to popularity, you know the bit where she longs to be like other girls that are prettier ect. so well done. |
by sexy_shorty (3-29-2005 - 02:52 PM)
| wow, it's great. i can even picture the girl and evey moment in your poem. i think you did a very good job on expressing her feelings. |
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