| » Poem: All Sucidle People Read This-Leve Commen |
All Sucidle People Read This-Leve Commen
written by yorki_lass03:45 PM 3/29/05to all the many people
that want to end there lives
stop and read this poem
and then ull realise
that life is what u make it
its no one elses fault
u can jus walk away
and lead them to a holt
you cant jus take away
what was luckily given 2 u
think bout all them babies
dat neva got the chance to
think of all the souls
that were sadly taken back
and neva got the chance
to feel the happiness to lack
think off all the people
dat cant do the things you can
thatd give there left arm
to shout 'IM UR FAN'
dont take for granted
what god has given u
god gave me a sister
she was taken too
she was a little baby
no older than a week
we barely even knew her
and still rest we seek
she shed a little tear
a smile from above
then slowly she was taken
we sent with her so much love
i can still feel her now
and hear her little laugh
id loved to ave changed her
and give her a little bath
ill never forget my sister
and the happines she gave
if only for a little while
now she rests in her tiny grave
you see the point im makin
she never had her chance
to prove she cud be successful
to go to russia spain or france
im sure u wuda lyked her
coz she wuda known
the greatness life can give
id ave taught her as shed grown
dont get me wrong i know ur pain
i felt it when she left
but i stoped one day and thought
at least i am left
now as u go from this poem
and reach for that knife
i know its bad now
but through it you must strife
thank you for ur time
and i hope one day youll seek
that happiness your owed
and the voice that u will speak |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
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This Poem has been viewed 337 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by AngelWildcat (3-29-2005 - 03:49 PM)
| This was incredible. I hope and believe that it will reach at least SOME of the people that it needs to. Great Job. |
by darkness_follows_me (3-29-2005 - 03:57 PM)
| great poem,im sorry to hear about your sister,but the reason i cut,is due to problems,gd poem anyway |
by Metal_freak (3-29-2005 - 04:53 PM)
| The poem was good and the meaning. But not every ones as strong as you me for one, my life sucks and I 'd give it up like that-I like the way your trying to encoaurage others through your poem-poems good job. |
by trulybroken57 (3-29-2005 - 05:25 PM)
| really good, but depression is sumthing i cant help, and the thoughts ti gives me...........and it sounds like u tryed too hard to make it rhyme.........it is really sweet of u to try to help ppl tho.......... |
by Genocide Reaper (3-30-2005 - 11:27 AM)
| Let them die. Confront them, don't give them attention or mercy. If they do follow through with what is more than likely hollow threats. Then so be it. |
by The Black Halo (3-30-2005 - 11:59 AM)
| How many people would even have the balls to kill themselves? How many people would even listen to this pathetic poem? Stop trying to help people that don't need it. They wont die, 'cause they're too fucking pussy.
And for fuck's sake, type properly, you know there is such thing as the English language, and it does not consist of this bullshit netspeak you so proudly speak in. Your punctuation was horrible, almost non-existant. You know, it isn't just words that make a poem.
The rhyming is blatantly forced, and the constant erros just pissed me off.
Shit. |
by MoodPhilosophy (3-30-2005 - 06:41 PM)
| It's a sweet gesture, but your poem is just too wordy to be effective. Proper grammar would help. Separating it into clear lines would help. Meter would help. Style would help. Try harder next time.
-Uli |
by Avathar (3-31-2005 - 07:42 PM)
| I disaprove of suicide most of all
but it is not always your choice as to how you live your life, there are many people who trie to control you |
by Meaningless (4-1-2005 - 06:07 PM)
| I'm suicidal I know...i've tried it and probably still will. But that poem got me thinking. Thankyou.
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by crying_skies (4-2-2005 - 01:37 AM)
| good poem. it's nice to see that someone is saying something against suicide like that. however, some of the rhyming was obviously forced too much and the grammar could've been better. but other than that, good job! |
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