| » Poem: Christian Society |
Christian Society
written by The Black Halo03:04 PM 4/14/05Society presses an injection of fear to your pastel skin,
Urging you to repress
And live like the rest.
Watching you try to confront your fears via violence,
And laughing at their spawns
Who are afraid of their wrongs.
You mask your insecurities, even though fear pulses
Through your veins,
Affecting your unworking brain.
People cower at your weakness because
They don't see the truth,
Blinded by christian youth.
You fight what you're afraid of,
That's why you try to fight me,
'Try' being the word that's key.
Unfortunately I see through your lies,
And I can see your soul cowering,
As the christian lies are spreading their flowery.
I fight back, I know you're
Just the same
Christian without a brain.
I fight back, I know you're
Just a boy
Just a christian toy. |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
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This Poem has been viewed 506 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by (guest) (4-15-2005 - 12:31 AM)
| It bothers me that half of the lines have a rhyme scheme, and half of them don't. I also do not sense any meter, or any connection between each stanza. |
by Misstress_Avelina (4-15-2005 - 01:26 AM)
| I agree with that person up there ^ ^ ^ |
by The Black Halo (4-15-2005 - 02:26 PM)
| That's why it's 'blank verse', fool. Pretty much every proffesional poet has used a rhyme scheme that involved lines not rhyming at all, so why does that matter for my poetry? If you don't 'sense' any meter, then you should read between the lines. If you can't do that, you're a hopeless critic.
Oh and please, don't log out when you comment my poetry. I know you're one of them idiots that bitches about my criticism, so why don't you have the balls to actually stand up? |
by kill_joy_hope_happyness (4-16-2005 - 02:27 PM)
| u fucking suck
get a life that poem has no emotion or meaning into it |
by The Black Halo (4-16-2005 - 06:36 PM)
| It's 100% political. That means it's full of meaning, and it's exactly what I believe. Belief is emotion, fool. |
by alone_in_my_head (4-20-2005 - 07:10 PM)
| i dont consider myself a critic so its very likely that what im going to say wont effect your opinion of your own material and it shouldnt really cus thats a sign of a true artist...having fiath in your work even if the rest of the world doesnt.
i enjoyed reading your poem as its obvious you work hard at them which some people dont. But you also must understand that some people write poetry not for it to sound amazing for everyone else but to vent out all the anger and rage they have inside and have no other way of ridding themselves of it. just let the pen flow and wel it just sort of works. oh and i wont log off any time soon so feel free to slate me if you think you need to. |
by The Black Halo (4-22-2005 - 03:05 PM)
| I want bitch at you, just because you didn't act like an ass, and you had the guts to stay online. :lol: I like that. |
by alone_in_my_head (4-22-2005 - 11:43 PM)
| oh wel thats cool i assumed you would, no offence meant but thats cool i like being proved wrong somtimes if you know what i mean. your not harsh after all x |
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