| I should have known, that one day I would be this grown, but now I'm wishing I was young, this life has taken too long for me. Now, I wonder if I'm strong? I can't tell my mistakes from my Massive wrongs. Iv been reflecting on my Past for far to long, I guess I should know all the things Iv done, I thought I knew who they were all the women, that were with me, I guess I just wanted to be free. Now, I turn back and see all Iv enduced its one big amusement. So many times I was held in contempt by my own mind, I wonder. If I was too just to High to say goodbye, so I slithered around, and used the Obscene to scare you away, like the others everytime, Anyway, I could. I just couldn't bare to see any of you stay. Now, I'm trying to get out of my way. I'm staring in the Mirror, asking myself why. Was I high? I cast my fist into the glass shattering the image I'm sick of looking at, giving all I can, to take what I make for myself. Blood in the sink, a tear on my cheek, all this has taken its Toll. I'm sitting in a circle of Empety bottles, and ashes, hoping that some how, it will all go away, and I can fly away with these broken wings. The black blood I bleed onto the floor, its not much more than foolish things said, and stupid things done. I'm lefting with a haunting past, bad times don't decay, or rot away, they stick and make me sick, Its not like a tick I can flick out of my way, to keep from sucking me dry. No more peace. All the drugs, lack of hugs, no problem here, just my own problems, past mistakes, how long can this last? I'm thinking about that Gun, and I'm thinking, fuck this world I'm done, but everytime I stare at those pictures, these images in my head, rise to the surface, compressing my anger, and drawing out the finger, the one, everyone pointed when I couldn't speak for fear of fucking up, and all this shit, I think it has to Stop. So, it'll be my body I'll drop. Suicide isn't the solution, and I guess, my mind is in a Revolution. I'm walking down the road, with blood on my hands, and scars in my head. So many times I wished to be dead. So much more I can't see, its like these fucked up memories want leave me, I just want this to go away. So I can be free. As you tempt me again, I light a candle again, I pray this isn't the end. But I know whats coming, Iv scared another one away, here we are, all alone, your moving on, and I'm stuck here, thinking about what it is Iv done, you told me, it couldn't be before, I didn't listen, the Demon wanted to make you his whore, and I got a little taste of what it was like to be loved, and feel a bit free, like the cigarette I lit, it had to expire, because worthless is my desire, so I'll burn deep down in Hell fire. |
