| I know I'll never change you, thats not what I wanted to do. I write for you to take a piece of the puzzle, and try and make it fit. I'm painting a picture of my personality, maybe then you'll understand my insanity. So cold, yet, burning inside, these fires want to escape, spread like a virus, and burn down the buildings filled with horror and shame. I can't get these thoughts out of my mind. So I try to vent them, so I will not have an excuse to seek shelter and hide. Holding on to something I love, is harder than you'll ever know, when I'm alone against the world, even for just this one girl. It seems like everyones trying to snatch her out of my hands. Even my plans, they all want to see them dead. And try to plant a fake image of life inside my head. I want what I want, I can't change it. I might be a bit blinded by my own wants and needs, but if you want out, let me know. Because its hard for me to see these things when I don't want to let go. I won't be a control freak, because that shows a sign of me being weak, but I won't let go of what holds onto me, I won't let anyone take away what I keep safe, I will never see you harm, if its me you want. I will never cut you loose, not until you hand me the knife. I want you, and not these fucked up memories, yet they plauge me, and can't seem to leave me be. I just want it all to go away!!! The comments, the Questions, I can handle. The Orders, and propaganda, the lies, the mental ties. The fucking disdain that has become all of my pain, yes Iv become a derelect, I have been thrown away time after time, and I can't understand why nobody wants me in their life, unless its for a useless slave. I cannot take being used. I will not stand by your side to only be a blind slave. I will never be able to cover these feelings, and keep my mouth shut, so my feelings are hidden. I will speak my mind. Its all I can do, that is my Pride. Glad to meet you, this Me. Nice to see you, this is Me. Go fuck yourself, eat shit and die, this is me. I'm just trying to stay free. I don't have a problem unless you've created one for me, unless you've tried to hinder me of being free to remember who I am. Hello, this is me, Glad to meet you. I'll stay free. |
