| » Poem: It Doesn't Mean You Won |
It Doesn't Mean You Won
written by Morbid Angel10:12 PM 12/15/04| I'll raise my hands to keep my head held high, call out "I surrender" before it's time to die. At first it was so small, exploded into much more, maybe I surrendered but it doesn't mean you won. It's just words and they don't affect me, I breath them but my tank is nearing empty. So I'll back out of this war with my pride still intact, I have everything you want, and everything you lack. Do you really think you've left me bleeding on the battlefield? Do you really think your childish words could break my shield? I hold out my hands and on them I offer you an escape, just back out and pull away. It's not for my benefit, it's because I just don't care, I promise you that upon my loved ones I swear. Bodies lie empty and souls lie torn, accept a way out and we'll settle this once and for all. It lasted much longer but my hate will not fade, let it out in a breath but it won't blow away. I'll be the better person here and end this war here, it's pathetic and it's childish, but don't for one second think this is out of fear. You'll never win, you didn't even come close, put your hand up your ass and pull out your nose. Stuck up bitch I hate you, you'll never win...these rules will always blind you. |
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Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
Sarah.
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This Poem has been viewed 386 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by sarah10087 (12-15-2004 - 10:18 PM)
by Morbid Angel (12-15-2004 - 10:35 PM)
| Oh fuck off Sarah, I'm trying to end it not carry it on. You're pathetic. |
by sarah10087 (12-15-2004 - 10:44 PM)
| I thought that was a hilarious comment |
by Genocide Reaper (12-15-2004 - 10:59 PM)
| Cass, she's saying it lacks structure because she doesn't know what structure is. She's just pissed off because your poetry stops the shit out of hers. |
by sarah10087 (12-15-2004 - 11:10 PM)
| structure is something you to have in common, you dont have it...poetry symbolises ur life, im sure that does relate...i have no shit in my poetry in the 1st place |
by sarah10087 (12-15-2004 - 11:10 PM)
| structure is something you to have in common, you dont have it...poetry symbolises ur life, im sure that does relate...i have no shit in my poetry in the 1st place |
by Morbid Angel (12-15-2004 - 11:36 PM)
| Why don't you try picking up a pen and writing something worth reading? Something that really comes from the heart. Don't think of the rules or what you're doing wrong, because there is no wrong. And you'll end up with something so amazing, something you'll be proud of. Instead of the meaningless shit you seem to produce. |
by Genocide Reaper (12-16-2004 - 01:34 AM)
| I still have yet to see an explanation. You don't know what structure is.. Or is it you speak of the Tower affect... Where I just hit enter after every period? Fuck that.. Did Edgar Allen Poe make all of his fucking work a straight fucking line? NO! You don't know dick about literature. Just stop running your mouth and admit it. |
by sarah10087 (12-16-2004 - 08:24 AM)
| Structure is effort. Structure shapes meaning, structure can be anyhting from where you break the line to what you put in each segment, 4 instance, in FRIEND OR FOE, each stanza contains a different sentiment. I dont preplan what i write, just when im writing it, i like to be able to identify it straight away. I do English Literature A level so i do know. Have you not hard of Carol Ann Duffy...her structure use was brilliant, although she's a feminist and i hate feminists, i have to admit her structure was good. |
by Trapezium (12-16-2004 - 05:03 PM)
| You say structure is effort. That implies that this poem definately does NOT lack in structure. It's pretty blatant that there was effort put into this. If you can't see that - you're blind. "Structure shapes meaning" Your poems have no structure then, because nothing can shape something that doesn't exist. Your poems have no meaning, so how can they have (your definition of) structure? This poem has a lot of meaning. Duh. "Where you break the line" Most of the "poets" on here randomly place linebreaks and stanzas. In the same poem there can be one stanza with 11 words in each line and 5 lines, and in the same poem have a 3 lined stanza with only 5 words in each. This poem obvously has more structure than those I speak of. Has Cass ever told you she preplans? No. Don't assume, because you look like even more of a fool when you're wrong, eg. now. Identify. Identify. Funny thing isn;t it. When some relates with something, they identify with it. When one's poetry has comments saying "I can relate" that obviously means people can identify with it. You do english literarature A level, it really doens't show. You're grammar is ridiculous, as is your spelling. You've proven to us you know nothong about poetry, too. |
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