| No matter what I do, you can't help but hate it, with the with a painful passion times two. The thought of you brings an untimely nauseating feeling to my stomach, I want to suddenly vomit. I must fit into your time frame, do what you want me to do, but all of this hatred inside of me, I cannot directly look at you and place blame, but I know you hate everything about me, and yourself, even your last name. I must benefit you, I must live to appease you, to ease your pressure of life, to help you with the pain that comes from living by the knife. One man alone with nothing, there isn't a life here to kill, because to many, everything is powered by will. And thus I am the only human worth a chance, you, the only thing left for you is my malevolence. I shall keep my malicious tongue silent, and wait upon the breaking of daylight, to step away from the strife, to gently, release all of my pain with the sharpened blade, and a sharpened mind. To bleed, and read at the same time, that is my only way to feel alive. Codependent, and constantly needing my aid, why can't you just admit that of being alone you are afraid? I will not help you anymore, after all the time I put in, making my fingers bleed, to help you, and even your greed, through the times you mocked, laughed, ridiculed and blatantly hated my creed. I was there, helping you, even if all your friends watched and stared, I did my part to be a decent person, and here I am, with more than a thousand reasons, to freely hate, and despise this place, this world, this race. To see that through all my hard work and good faith, I am quietly declared something I am not, no matter what I prove, what their mind thought first stays, thus, the perceiving is all wrong. I am truly a mystery, Why I help and hate so much is beyond me myself, to be this Demon, is something I couldn't live without, I am now going through withdrawals from my addiction, and this time, I'm pointing a finger, the only difference is, I stand here with reason. More than enough to use against you, more than enough to show everyone, how it is easy to lose. Lend a helping hand, they shall laugh, you will break, never to mend, fight the good fight, play the role of hero, you won't be a zero anymore, just a helpful person ridiculed to the floor. These are reasons for suicide, these are reasons for homicide, these are reasons to hate, this is the world we live in, yes fuckers, it is called fate. A dark state, a dismal shape. But as I write this down, I bare no frown, nor a smile, I keep a candle lit, and the clock cold. A bottle of whiskey to me, yes, very close. Feast upon these morbid thoughts, and gothic dreams, and I hope one day, you shall find the means. |
