| » Poem: Plagued |
Plagued
written by Genocide Reaper08:00 PM 2/9/05| All of this is still in my head. No matter how much I write, I can't get this out of my mind, I can't push this weight from my shoulders, the pressure is inside of my chest bursting out from within. Flashes of me in a dark room, using this blade that once was used to cut tape, now scraping away on my veins, the pain was my release, from the screaming and fighting. The relentless arguing escaped their mouths. I hated them both, I had no one to blame. Not even myself. I constantly prayed to the reaper, take me away. I didn't want to live another day. Ten year's old and already affected by apathy, within a blink of an eye I turned cold. So afraid nights before, when my paradise disappeared and reality turned to me and sneered. Such horrid things, whiskey I could smell from miles away, gun pointed at sorrow filled person. I don't know what you two intended to happen, I'm not sure that you noticed how badly my heart was broken, you and everyone else in my thoughts and memories are the reasons for these scars. Night after night as smoke filled my lungs I stared at the stars. Wondering why and given nothing but anguish. You and all of these women that came in and out of my life I did punish. In my attempts to idolize you, I found out I had became you. Doing everything to hurt people that you do. Where did I go wrong? All through out my existence I have seen this life as a puzzle, and slowly the pieces came to be. But certain problems were born long before I fell in love with a whore. Its plain to see, now, I just want more. I cannot find peace of mind. I wonder if I am still so naive, so blind. My hatred as increased with these thoughts, the sickening feeling in the pit of my stomach has yet to decrease. When will I have the right to dub these memories deceased. For they are already diseased! Plagued by my own fucked up intentions, haunted by a past that is processing every shitty whim brought to attention! Now I have more than enough issues, I can't seem to do anything except add more scars to my own aching tissue. Singing in the wind, sending this message into the Heavens above, but only Hell answered my whales, only the demons came to tear down my world! I stand and fight for nothing. I have the dedication, the reasons, the why, to continue onward, even dreams of dieing as a fucking martyr, just so my death won't be in vain. See me, know this, I am consumed by pain! It all comes from this strain. The problem is on my mind, is it the irremovable stain! Wisdom within, but not enough knowledge to live! I will not circum to blind idiocy, I will not bow my head to a lying deity, I will never commit to a pretentious coward. If I can't have it all, then this body of mine I will just have to maul! |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
[ View Genocide Reaper's Profile ] [ Go to the Poetry Portal ]
This Poem has been viewed 386 times
|
|
|
|
