| » Poem: ReturnOfTheBelovd,goodbye of the friend |
ReturnOfTheBelovd,goodbye of the friend
written by sarah1008708:09 PM 2/13/05The end of an era, of sorrow and pain
My feelings for him never did wane
And i try to think of what i have done
But my love has just begun;
it burning now, more than before
My feelings for you i never swore
Im happy now and my heart is content
The pain i caused you, i'll have to repent
But what I feel i cannot mould
Matters of the heart, or so im told
You talk of freedom, like its somewhere to go
But your prison is time spent alone.
And i hope in the end your happy, alone
Maybe then to find somewhere, a home
Happy to settle for 2.4 kids*
no more games and no more tricks
And to you i owe the greatest debt
A loan that i will never forget |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
(now its 1.9)
[ View sarah10087's Profile ] [ Go to the Poetry Portal ]
This Poem has been viewed 112 times
|
|
| » Comments / Feedback | by Trapezium (2-13-2005 - 08:44 PM)
| You manage a forced-rhyme in just 2 lines. How is it you can have so little knowledge of the English language, then unfairly criticise works of art using said language?
"The pain i caused you, i'll have to repent" Is a nonsensical line. It doesn't actually mean anything. Poems are meant to mean something, remember. Or have you forgotten something you tried so hard to emphasize on?
|
by XsouredXfaithX (2-13-2005 - 08:47 PM)
| good poem...and dude with the big T name..stop being a douche!!..poems express and just because you dont get it doesnt mean it doesnt have a meaning |
by Trapezium (2-13-2005 - 08:52 PM)
| I'm not being a "douche" I'm being a critic. I'm not a soft-ass, and I don't go around telling everyone I 'love' their poetry when I truly think it's shit, I give my opinions on it, and I tell them what's wrong with it, so they can make it better. |
by I_heart_jack_black (2-13-2005 - 10:36 PM)
| well I thought that the poem was good, and I think that the Trapizium guy should tell me how shitty my poems are... because he has that authority and all. . . . |
|
|
|
|
