| » Poem: Overcome (please comment) |
Overcome (please comment)
written by xxxxxxblackdragonxxxxxx06:47 AM 3/1/05Sitting here for hours
Feeling stuck up in a tower
Losing all of my power
I must not cower
And not feel sour
I feel obligated to make
Not to take
I don't want to drain
Everyone I love with this pain
I've got to stop feeling sorry for myself and I can't complain
I am a lot better off than most, yet I feign
My life to be much worse, but it's stayed the same
No fame, and no one to blame
Time to help those in need
Is now indeed
I know I can succeed
All I need is to be cared for
And I know that's true, so I won't shut my door |
All (c)Copyrights reserved by the Original Author.
Author's footnotes and comments on this Poem:
Felt like an uplifting poem for a change. I'm not bipolar... yet.
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This Poem has been viewed 318 times
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| » Comments / Feedback | by LaDiablo (3-1-2005 - 07:10 AM)
| The rhymes were a bit excessive... I think you could've had a better piece of art if the rhyme pattern hadn't gotten in the way, because I believe you do have talent =). |
by (guest) (3-1-2005 - 12:29 PM)
| great thoughts, but it seemed not to flow and seemed very irratic, if this was an effect you wanted to create then you did achieve your goal, if not and you want your work to fow, listen to music while you write. otherwise I like your thought proccess, and I do like the layout |
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