» Poem: "The Picture" (please comment) |
"The Picture" (please comment)
written by XxXstitchesXxX01:39 AM 3/5/05I sit alone is this empty house,
the world to me is quite like a mouse.
I hear something move in the hallway,
while on the couch I lay.
I wonder what the screamings are,
I wonder why they seem so far.
I get up and look around,
and to my suprise it leads me to my door, where agian I here the sound.
I slowly look into the room,
hoping this wont be my doom.
On the bed lays a picture of my family,
and I figure out that the screaming was me.
I was imaging my past,
and remebering all the good times that I wished would last.
I run and pick up the picture.
And sit there on my bed while its rapped in my arms and cry,
wishing I had one last chance to try. |
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» Comments / Feedback | by AthiestAnarchist (3-5-2005 - 01:41 AM)
pretty good...sad but good. |
by life_at_its_end (3-5-2005 - 01:45 AM)
good stuff... a lil advice though. if you want your poems to sound more grabbing and more professional, i suggest not ryhming so much... especially every line. but other than that its pretty good |
by drowningkitten14 (3-5-2005 - 02:04 AM)
very good! and ryming is good! |
by XxBrOkeNSmiLe7xX (3-5-2005 - 02:12 AM)
by neverhappy1184 (3-5-2005 - 04:25 AM)
yet again speechless.....lol |
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