| I'm starting to hate this free time on my hands. I'm waiting for the day I just die and its over. Things seem to be great, then all the sudden I sicken myself and I get overwhelmed with a misplaced hate. Fuck this, fuck that, fuck you, fuck why, fuck it all, time to die! Don't start to fucking cry! Broken bottles, bleeding veins, sucking up cigarettes, choking down the liquor, no I don't blame her, or you, or anyone else, just my fucking self. Its all on me. Lets leave it at that. I don't blame society. I don't blame eternity. I don't blame morality or a lacking thereof. I'm just here, stuck like you. Trying to force myself through. How about I just slit my wrist, drain the red mist, right down my throat it'll go, this isn't suicide, its called self righteous fucking homicide. On a man that's at the end of his rope. Hell, Iv been known, by myself, to choke. To fall out when I did to much, and couldn't keep up with how much I toked. So what? Take it how you get it, leave if it if you don't want it. I don't care. I contradict myself all the time. But hey THAT'S MY LIFE! Fuck it if you don't get it. Leave it as it may, there will be no other way. So I might want some one to stay, but its not up to me. And I'm fully aware one of these days I'll die, and yeah, I'll decay. I'm not really in the mood to look over all the points in this life that is good. So sue me, you can't control me, or fucking contain me. Its all confusing, and Iv already been consumed. Don't try to ask why. That'll just get you a fuck off, and a goodbye. I'm not here to please you, I'm not here to save you. I'm here to live, and I don't know what that is, so what. Its all a puddle of piss. Meaningless shit. All over rated, all dieing down. Soon enough I'll put myself in the ground. I'm already in above ground grave. And that is fine with me. Slow suicide that's how I survive. |
