| » Poem: How is it wrong?(plz comment) |
How is it wrong?(plz comment)
written by darkness_follows_me06:46 PM 4/15/05This suffering that lives inside me seems to ache
more and more each day
i have no release
i have no escape
no way that it will disappear
it haunts me by day
tortures me by night
trying not to give up
with all my might
but i cant...
the indignation spreads
through every bone
so here i am
sitting in front of you
your mouth is open in awe
silent tears fall down your cheeks
as i show you my arms
my tormented arms...
the only way the pain could escape through
i let it out
and i felt alive once again
so how is this wrong?
why do you cry?
it is my only high in life... |
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| » Comments / Feedback | by (guest) (4-15-2005 - 06:49 PM)
by (guest) (4-15-2005 - 06:49 PM)
| Grammar. You need grammar. Capitalization and such; it's important. Once I saw the 'i', I stopped reading. If you want people to take you seriously, at least take the time to hit the 'shift' key. |
by darkness_follows_me (4-15-2005 - 06:54 PM)
by hopeless_seattle (4-15-2005 - 07:55 PM)
| ignore them, it is good, really really good |
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