Vindicated, I wish,
still ashamed of not doing a better job.
I complain, and hear them say. "There was nothing more you could do."
Its just not enough, maybe for you,
but its different for me,
I need to be,
something more than anyone,
everywhere I go.
I feel the need to make myself bleed,
pushing my bodies limits,
struggling mentality,
bruised and cut easily.
Am I another burnt out star,
Maybe I deserve to be another casualty in war.
good for what?
running away from shit,
Still, I drown in this pit.
Suffocated, enraged with self management,
god damn, I feel like my energy went off in abandonment,
here I am, off in the pitch black zoned out,
kicking myself in the ass, for every fucked up thing done in the past.
The booze is just making it harder for me to wake,
thus, it is longer I snooze, into the nightmares of my mistakes.
God damn it, I’m sick of sifting,
through this sea of self depressing memorable dialogue.
How much longer will I be sitting,
here wondering how I’ll make it out of these,
CHAINS!
Beaten from the ground up,
bleeding all over the place,
take a look at this pissed off face,
fess up to myself in the mirror,
anger rising like a flooded river.
Self hatred pouring into a burning soul,
I’m kicking myself in the ass, I’m out of control. |
